Well, I'm back. I made it through the day. Fortunately, most of the people I encountered today were fairly pleasant. I didn't really have a whole lot of time to be depressed this morning because there was just far too much stuff to do. I really think that posting this morning, got enough junk off my chest where I didn't have to dwell on it, the entire ride to work. I also took one of the few anti-depressants that I had stashed as well. I save them for when I really need them. Today was definitely one of those days.

I have just been so irritated with my husband lately because he just has had no time for me. Whenever he is home, it seems like he finds something, anything to do, that doesn't include me. We both work a lot, and usually opposite shifts. We can't get a babysitter that doesn't charge us, to save our lives. My parents live only minutes away, but would never babysit for us to just spend time together. I have to beg and plead with them, just to watch my kids one day every other weekend, and when the kids don't have school. It's really annoying. I thought grandparents were supposed to love having their grandchildren around.
My mother-in-law used to babysit for us, way back when, before she went schitzo, but we couldn't afford to keep paying her. Then when we stopped paying her, she suddenly didn't have the time to do it anymore. Crazy bitch. That's one of the few reasons that we don't talk to her anymore. That and a whole lot of other things like, oh well, we can start with the fact that when she did watch my kids, they needed to bring their own lunches and snacks, and she would send them to sit in front of the TV. She didn't interact with them or talk to them. She never acted like a grandmother to them, and they in turn resented her for the way she treated them. I don't blame them at all and so I had no problem pulling them away from her. She went nuts a couple times in front of them, once almost running my husband over with her van, and then coming to my house shortly afterward and freaking out yelling at us. We almost had to call the cops on her. She pretty much scared the shit out of my kids and that was the final straw for me. This was all because my 19 year old brother in law, got in a fight with her, came to stay with us and packed all his crap and took it to our house, and we didn't call to notify her. EXCUSE me. I think if he wanted her to know, he would have called her himself. He was trying to avoid a scene, but as I have already told you, we were not successful with that.
When my husband graduated from college, she was not invited to the ceremony, but went anyway, stood up in the balcony and took pictures and was being a blat-ass, but never even talked to anyone. That's ok, she did kind of the same thing at my wedding. She was not invited to that either, because she treated me, my husband and my family like shit, and told me that I was not worthy of her son. GIMME A BREAK. My parents were hardworking people, had a gorgeous home, and were not hurting for anything. This woman didn't even work, legally anyway, she lived in a dump, her husband made like $7 an hour, she had 12 teeth and 3 of them were in her pocket and she had the balls to say that to ME? Bah. Anyway, I am getting sidetracked here. So needless to say, she came to the wedding anyway, dressed head to toe in black. Black sweater, black stretch pants, and $3 black canvas shoes. If St. Vincent DePaul had a catalog, she would be the centerfold. ANYWAY, I never liked the woman from the day I met her, two years before I started dating my husband. She was as phony as the day is long. But Mike had the biggest crush on me and I was dating one of his friends, so somehow, I always ran into the hag.  Me, Mike and the other friend is another story for another time.
But after Mike's graduation, his mother's photoshoot resulted in an 8x10 enlargement that she added to the 8x10's she had of her other children (only one was speaking to her at the time) in a quaint little shrine, complete with candles and the whole works (as told to us by my father in law). Can you say WHACKO?
Getting back to where I started from...
So you can see that it's not exactly easy to get time alone. We never get time alone to do anything. It was nice to have a day off together once in a while, when the kids were in school, so we could find time for a lil sumthin', sumthin', but even those days are long gone. My best friend works nights now, so I never get to see her anymore either. Life sucks right about now. About the only good thing in my life that brings me any hope, is the fact that I have begun to have a relationship with my sister. She is my dad's daughter from his previous marriage. I have only seen her like 4 times in my life. My mother completely discourages this, but she doesn't know about it yet. I plan to tell her in the near future, but I was waiting until after the holidays, so that I don't have to deal with that drama, on top of the stresses of Christmas. She lives in Virginia, so I don't really have the chance to see her often, but I have had several lengthy conversations with her, and it's been really great. In fact, I am going to try to ring her up, tonight. I am sure that will make me feel better. Well, I think I have yapped it up enough. I am sure I will have some more "good stuff" to talk about again, soon. Bye for now!

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